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The craziest things overheard on a cruise ship


It must be that sea air can do crazy things to some people’s brains. Here are six of the worst examples:


With the ship in port, one passenger arriving in his cabin immediately complained he had booked a cabin with a porthole for an outside view and he didn’t have one. His steward gently explained that the terminal building blocking his view would not be there for the rest of the trip.


A couple first arriving in their cabin were puzzled by the only bed being covered by a large protective plastic sheet proclaiming it was for luggage only. They rang the pursers’ office asking where they were meant to sleep.


After being first shown to his cabin, one passenger rang guest services to complain he couldn’t get out. Asked to check the internal lock, he said he only had two doors: one was to the toilet and the other was marked ‘Do Not Disturb.’


A passenger that first crossed the Atlantic on the Queen Mary and then returned home on the Queen Elizabeth, complained that putting the clock forward every night meant he got less sleep then when he was on the Queen Mary as on that ship the clock was put back every night so passengers could get plenty of rest.


It was discovered that a lonely lady on a cruise ship was eating all her meals at the buffet. When asked why she preferred the buffet to the dining room, it turned out that she didn’t realise there was no charge for eating in the main dining room.


On the 149,215-ton RMS Queen Mary 2 a passenger loudly and seriously complained that whereas there were plenty of elevators going from deck to deck, there was not one going back and forth to the front of the ship.

By Paul Curtis

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